Accepting someone's passing

"Why did it have to be him? He didn't deserve to die. He was a better man than most. It's just not fair!"
"That was so sudden! How can we live without her now?"

Those are just a couple of lines that we often hear when we go over the wakes. Words full of emotions and yet seemingly empty inside.

The passing of someone whom we cherished most seems to be the most painful event that will ever happen to us. Being left by someone you endear feels like melancholic emptiness from the inside out incapable of accepting the painful face of reality.

Many of us still finds it hard to accept the passing of someone they love. They cry a river during wake and most especially during the burial. Attachment that has been made so strong for years is so hard to untie when either of whom will leave.

Death is a painful process that everyone needs to be understood by heart and it's the attachment that makes the parting so painful. 

Let us look towards God when we face such hurting circumstances for He, the almighty creator of heaven and earth, is the only answer. Listen to His words and so we will receive His wisdom and comfort.

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would i have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. [John 14:1-3]



Rest in the loving hands of His to the ones who bore my parents.

Things you could have done before a beloved's passing

Last Friday, June 15,2012, I attended an internment of our fellow co-worker’s dad somewhere around Jalan Sudirman, Bandung. It is the first time I have witnessed a Chinese funeral for my entire life. Beautifully ornamented flowers welcomed us by the entire façade; Chinese texts on a fine fabric was suspended on either sides of the room; people wearing plain white shirts greeted us and offered us some refreshments like sweets, bread, chips and glasses of water. Lastly, melancholic silence illuminated the entire room. I could see from the eyes of the family, relatives, friends, colleagues and others brimmed with unspoken heartache and grief for no one expected the sudden passing of someone they cherished most.

Death is the most feared and most unaccepted sad reality in our life. When I see people grieving over someone’s passing, I see guilt and shame. Usually, we only lament when someone totally left us physically. Thus the saying goes “You can only see the true value of someone, when he is already gone”.  Pain is natural when somebody left us but don’t we think that we should have given the true importance of someone while he is still with us. We should have let them feel that we care, love and value them. 



The problem is there are things that keep us from doing such virtuous deeds and we are left off-guarded from doing them. Kind words are unspoken, act of benevolence are left undone, hatred and anger unsettled. Or even very simple things that matters a lot such as buying someone’s ice cream, watching an exciting film together, listening to the music you love to hear, and others. More often, these simple things are being looked over because of fixating our attention with other things which we think more valuable than anything else such as earning  more money, paying bills, playing video games, and even checking notifications over Facebook or Twitter.

Life is so uncertain. No one really knows when will be our final hour, our last breath and  our last words.  Let us do the best in making most of our lives now before regret hunts us. Let us put into actions the good plans we have in mind to make other people see their worth. You might be the only person doing that and it matters a lot to anyone who receives it.

Blessed is the man who joyfully values each man through actions they met along their path. Blessed is the man who never grows tired of manifesting the word of God to people regardless of their disparity for He shows no partiality. (Romans 2:11)


photo credit: @Doug88888 via photo pin cc

メランコリック 歌 (Song of Melancholy)

Silence filled the deserted place with the lush of green Bermuda grass, shivering whisper of wind and tall trees shedding this desolated place as Michael came and stayed for a moment.

He took the scented candles out from his old bag and calmly lit them with the patient flame one by one. Immediately, he placed them above the smooth marbled plate. Fresh red roses added more beauty to the name engraved - Juliet.  He uttered no words from his mouth sealed with grief and sorrowful memories. Such pain he felt as he sang the song they used to sing when they were still together. In the interim, tears fell down like crystals on his pale face. Suddenly, he pocketed a tiny bottle then stared the liquid inside it, then glancing back to the name of his dearest. Before the sun kissed the calm sea, he emptied the bottle at once.

Momentarily… such a lugubrious silence filled the place once again.